I have something to tell you, Friend.
I don’t really have the time or patience to prepare you for what I’m going to say so I’m just going to blurt it out and see how this goes.
SOMETIMES I WONDER IF HAVING KIDS WAS A MISTAKE.
So…sometimes I wonder if having kids was a mistake I made…four different times.
(( Before I go on, I need you to understand…I actually PREFER having FOUR kids, if having kids is a thing. It isn’t the FOUR kids thing. It’s the KIDS thing. In general. ))
And to be clear…having kids IS a thing for me. It’s a done deal.
No returns. No take-backsies.
Kids are kids are kids and they NEVER.GO.AWAY.
#foreverandeveramen #forbetterorforworse #nomatterhowmuchtheystink
And for the most part, I feel pretty ok about the current situation. Being the Mom, the Queen of the house, if you will, I am everyone’s everything! I’m the most important person to four tiny human beings! It’s a pretty spectacular miracle that even ONE of them has lived as long as they have, considering my track record with plants…and pets…and…my blog…
Yes, yes – being Queen has its perks. I get to choose what’s for dinner most of the time. I get to say who gets to have sleepovers and what clothing they get to choose from. I choose who their doctor is and when they go to the Dentist and how much of their diet is organic or not organic or whether they need to eat another helping of fiber or if they’ve pooped enough for the day.
I mean, it’s a pretty important job. When another being depends on you to keep track of their digestive system and the cleanliness of their wobbly bits…THAT is some kind of ridiculous power.
But can I just say that WITH THE POWER comes a crazy ridiculous amount of responsibility. And with the responsibility comes a lot of stress. And poop. And exhaustion. And heartburn. And budgets.
This is how I imagine my life…
There’s nothing really all that deep here, Friends. This isn’t one of my deep thinkers. It’s more of a
“MAN today really sucked and I really, really think I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life because these children are THE WORST and I’m ruining them and they don’t even like me. What have I done. Please tell me there is a take-backsies button here SOMEWHERE!!!”
Today, my kids were horrible. They didn’t listen. They sassed me. They argued and bit each other and screamed at each other. They spent a lot of time in time-out. They spent a lot of time apologizing. I spent a bit of time ignoring them, pretending I didn’t hear them out of time-out so I didn’t have to deal with them. I cried a little bit. They cried a lot. I didn’t do any fun crafts and we ate hot dogs and cereal for dinner. I actually just had hot chocolate because feeling like a failure sort of killed my appetite.
Today I wasn’t a very good Mom.
Today I was in my tiny yellow bubble just wondering if I would ever have any time to myself ever again. I was in my tiny bit of headspace that is still separate from Motherhood, just hoping that my kids would survive the day without my attention because I JUST WANTED TO BE LEFT ALONE.
And ya know…right now…if you’re in the same boat or ever have been, just know that you’re in pretty good company. Because I’m around and I’m pretty good at parties. Especially of the pity variety. Come over and let’s eat cookies and drink hot chocolate I made from baking cocoa and sugar because I ran out of anything else.
Or you can just have water or something. Because it’s late and I don’t have decaf. If it’s before 4 pm, though…I gots ya bean water ALL.DAY.ERR.DAY.
#beanwater #coffee #samediff
(( Pretty sure my 2 year old just faceplanted off the bunkbed. Time to go do that responsibility thing. ))